Have you ever wondered what your window treatments are up to when you’re not around? I mean, you can’t just sit there staring at your blinds all day waiting for them to do something – you’ve got things to do! Well, guess what, so do they. Your windows are awake while you’re at work and your shades are stirring while you’re snoozing. It may not be the most meaningful existence, but it does keep things interesting. Welcome to the secret life of a window treatment!
Most people think that their coverings would be most concerned with soaking in the view. They are forced to spend eternity in a window, after all. Sadly, most window treatments are blind. No, that’s not a cheap joke for your entertainment – they plain lack the sense of sight, forcing them to seek entertainment elsewhere. Lucky for us, a remarkable amount of window treatments will decide to help out around the house in any way they can. Count on your window blinds to use their aerial advantage to feed on stray houseflies and itsy-bitsy spiders. That’s probably why you haven’t noticed as many of those pesky pests around. Your blinds and shades will also do their best to filter the air in your home by attracting as much dirt and grime as possible. How nice of them. Of course, it will be up to you to clean this mess off of your blinds on your own time – they can’t do everything.
What most people also fail to recognize is that a large percentage of blinds and shades are nocturnal. You’re usually sleeping, so it’s likely you have never noticed. Obviously this leads to run-ins with other nocturnal creatures. At night, your window treatments will usually raise and lower themselves to accommodate any roaming house pets, if they feel so inclined. This is especially true for cats, as most blinds and shades will do everything possible to keep a good rapport with our feline friends in fear of getting mercilessly clawed apart during our absence. It’s one of the few wars that’s been waged through history that humans have secretly been denied.
Window treatments have also developed an advanced form of communication. Blinds are the most vocal and will gently tilt at each other, emitting a subtle vibration that other window treatments around the house can easily pick up on. This helps send out warnings of predators and transmit the latest gossip. Shades, on the other hand, remain fairly silent unless they’ve been outfitted with a motorized lift system. A motorized lift will also allow you communicate with your shades – letting you raise and lower them remotely. Take it easy on the controls, though, shades hate to be overworked. Also, do us all a favor and keep this secret life of window treatments a secret…just like they’ve kept all of your secrets.
If you haven’t noticed your window treatments doing anything suspicious, it’s because they’re doing everything right. The work they do around the house, however small, is just another reason to outfit your home with brand new blinds and shades. Your coverings would probably regarded as heroic if you took the time to notice everything they did for you. They’re your friends in high places, so treat them accordingly. Dust your treatments, enjoy them, embrace them, and watch out for them because they’re watching out for you!
